In our kitchen, we have the world’s largest drawer.
Things that may – or may not – actually be in that drawer:
- Old and new batteries, nicely mixed in with each other so you will never know which is which
- Lots and lots of sun glasses. And a set of 3D glasses. (WHY?)
- Gift certificates. Expired.
- Air plane ear phones. 5 different kinds, all useless.
- Free tickets for things that happened years ago. Some for things that will happen in the future, but we will forget about until we find them years after the things happened.
- Free postcards.
- Buttons. AS IF!!!!!
- Mascara. Dried up.
- Wire, tape, ribbon, stickers and three (!) papyrus bookmarks with hieroglyphics that our room service guy in Egypt left us as “a present”. I think I thought they might be fun to regift. Nice! Would YOU like one?
- Coins in foreign currency. Worthless.
- The key to our old postbox. (We needed to buy a new one anyway, I desperately insisted.)
- The VERY important memory stick with years of work on it (FUUUUCK!)
- The email adress on that millionaire I once had lunch with
- The Lindbergh baby
- The brilliant get-rich-quick-scheme I hatched that one time I was really drunk
- Jimmy Hoffa
- My virginity
- My sanity
- My dignity
Experience tells me that it is no use trying to sort it. It looks like that after two minutes.
Fuckit.
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