I Was Fired Yesterday

I was fired yesterday. I haven’t had this much fun since I held my grandmother’s hand all night, while she gasped for air until she finally died. This is right up there with my miscarriage three years ago.

Well. No one died this time, let’s gain some perspective, people.

Except a little part of me did die.

Working in HR, I have been on the other side of the table numerous times. Taking that high-road-like, analytical perspective, in was an interesting and learning experience, holding the shit end of the stick.

The irony of the situation is so thick, you can cut it with a spoon; at 10 – 12, I was giving a talk on “Tips and Tricks on How to Get Your Dream Job”. At 1 pm. I was having a really unpleasant conversation, which ultimately left me here: With a genuine sorrow, that I won’t be working there anymore. God, I’ll miss those people! Hell, I’ll even miss my boss. I really liked and respected her. I like her a little less now. It feels like I am standing in front of a treehouse, where the latter is up and  I’m down – with all my talents.

The shame and humiliation stings. At times it gets so unbearable, I can hardly breathe.

And then I remind myself that bad things happen to good people all the time; and I am not the first one to be sacked. Happens every day.

So – all that being said:

GOD BLESS:

– My colleague who was informed about the situation and that she had to take over for me, who then went straight out to the ladies room and vomited.  Who knew a compliment could be so gross?

– The guy who winked at me and sent me a flirty smile as I was passing him today. May I note, that I had been crying all day, had no make-up left exccept perhaps a wee bit of mascara somewhere on my cheek and was puffy and just all-round worthless-feeling.

– The many who sent such sweet, graceful, caring, loving, shocked text messages and emails

-The ones that called and told me kind things

-The ones that sent flowers

– My parents and brothers, who apparently think, that I’m just as lovable now as before I was fired

-My mother in law, who came by with three pots of flowers; A white, red and and multi-colored and said: “The white one is for hope, the red one is because you are such a wonderful daughter-in-law and the multicolored one, I just liked”. Which was pretty cheesy and very corny. And also very loving and wonderful.

– And my husband. Damn, he comes in handy in a crisis. I really ought to write down just HOW wonderful he is being right now, so that I’ll remember it when we get back to our daily lives. Where I seem to forget that a little bit.

– My 5-year old, who was giving me the biggest slice of something with the explanation: “Mommy get’s the big one because she got fired and we feel bad for her!” ( He really said that!)

So. Here we are. A door closes and a window opens. I am giving myself two weeks to do nothing about it. Just mourn. And then I’ll get back in the game.

I still need a moment though.