Cindafuckingreallas Relationship Booster – A Therapeutic Game to Play With Your Lover

I think all couples would benefit from counseling! My husband and I have been talking about going for years; We repeat some very tedious patterns endlessly and have basically the same fight over and over – it would be nice to bring in an adult to help us gain a new perspective on ourselves and each other. Also just for the sake of feeling like we are investing in our relationship -more so than the annual date without kids where we go to a nice restaurant and – despite all our efforts, usually manage to eat 3 courses including pre-dinner drinks, a visit to the rest room (first me then him) and coffee afterwards in 30 minutes max because having kids has taught us that if you wanna eat – you gotta do it fast!

So we’ve never gotten around to the actual couple’s therapy. But here’s a fantastic (in all modesty!) game I invented the other night! I dare say it might have therapeutic effect. I suppose it has it’s theoretical foundation somewhere in the family of gestalt-therapy. Anyway, let’s not kill it by over-analysing and categorizing it.

Here it is, in all it’s beautiful simplicity:

You each have to mention 5 things, that you know that other person likes  about you.

If we were to believe the image of the genders that modern culture projects, the lists would look something like this:

Man’s list:
1. Blowjob
2. Blowjob
3. Blowjob
4. When she washes and waxes the car
5. When she cooks me a nice medium-rare steak with all the trimings

Woman’s list:
1. When he really listens
2. When he really understand me
3. When he holds me in his arms
4. When he takes me shopping and just pays up and carries all the bags
5. When he makes tender love to me and we lie and talk for hours afterwards

In the real world, me and Hubby’s lists looked like this:

MY projection of what HE likes for me to do (in random order!):

1. When I comment on or read something out loud from the newspaper
2. When I laugh at something funny he said or did. Or sometimes danced.
3. When I know something he didn’t know I knew. ( Absolute zero is minus 273,16 degrees celsius!)
4. When I perform random acts of kindness to strangers
5. When I wear make-up and show A LOT of cleavage

HIS projection of what I like for him to do (random order, I said):

1. When he is being goofy and/or silly ( He does a Carmela-Soprano-shrieking-“All-your-fucking-philandering” that is out of this world hilarious! Sometimes he sing “opera” and when he really wants my attention, he jumps really high while farting on the way down. He is an economist, for God’s sake.)
2. When he just FIXES things. Makes trouble go away or just buys that thing I’ve been passive-agressively hinting at for ages – gets it DONE!
3. When he is successful at work (Me likee bonus! Me also likee when other people recognize his talent, a very basic psycological mechanism: If kid A want’s kid B’s toy, kid B likes the toy better. Not that he is a toy or we are kids. But still.)
4. When he gives cutting-edge analysis of a given problem, political/economical situation – or basically explains to me how the world works…
5. When he comes to bed quiet like a mouse. (This NEVER happens.  He makes SO much noise when comes in, takes his clothes of and starts talking to me, when I’ve been fast asleep for an hour. So we corrected that on to “I love that you kiss me and say “Good night” even though I every night for the past at least 7 years have yelled:  BE QUIET – SHUT UP; I’m SLEEPING!)

The brilliant (again, in all modesty!) thing about this game is that not only is it a new twist on the old worn-out : ” 5 thing I like about you” but by taking the other person’s perspective, it shows the other person that they KNOW – at least in theory – what he or she likes. Also, it works as a reminder of what you like about each other and it’s appreciative; accentuating the positive, like the song says!

I think perhaps this little game, let’s call it “Cindafuckingrealla’s Relationship Booster” might work with friends, parents, siblings etc. too. Give a go. And let me know how it turns out for ya’.

(No guarantees, no refunds!!)