“On Perspective” (or “Very Long Nipples”)

Back when my now 2-year old was a baby, he would not take a pacifier. This meant that he nursed A LOT!  Without being hungry, he would sit on my chest like a big meat-brooch. He’d get very upset if I removed him. I tried all kinds of things and none of it worked.

Soon, my nipples looked like very long raspberries. As you can imagine, although I would ask that you not try to, it was not pretty.

One day, I was complaining to a coworker about the perpetual nursing. She was an older and wiser woman.

She asked me: “Do you intend to have any more children?”
Me: “NO!”
Her: “Then why don’t you try doing what I did?”
Me: “WHAT,  WHAT, OHMYGOD: Tell me!!”
Her: “Enjoy it!”

The thought hadn’t really occurred to me. Sure, I enjoyed feeding him but I had gotten stuck on the perspective that it was a problem that he would not take a pacifier. I had forgotten to savour it.

All in all, I nursed him just shy of 10 months. I am not having any more children and will now never again experience the miraculous feeling it is to sustain another person, to literally feed him life. To gently pinch a chubby baby’s marzipan-like rolls of fat with pride and think: I made that! I will not again hear the content little sounds they make as they drink. Feel the pride when a 10 pound cutiepie belches like a 400 pound construction-worker who just finished a gallon of beer. I shall never watch a little guy fall asleep while sucking. (Not counting Hubby!) 

Hmm.

I was thinking of that piece of advice this morning…

“Enjoy it!”

Almost every morning lately, we wake up with a six-year old and a two-year old who worm their ways into our bed. It is rather annoying. They have bony knees and sharp elbows, they hog my pillow and steal my blanket. I wake up with the terrifying feeling of numb, bloodless arms, having slept in what could be mistaken for an advanced yoga position. No rest for the wicked indeed!

So for a while I was REALLY pissed. Scolded the kids for depriving me of my sleep.

This morning, I woke up first. I looked over and saw my two boys sleeping. The big one had his arm over the small one. I cuddled up and took the opportunity to smell their hair, stroke their potbellies and kiss their faces. I realized that very soon, they will not be cute little squatters, hogging my blanket. Before I know it they will be allergic to the sheer sight of me.

I am going to change the perspective and enjoy it. And I am going to keep two extra pillows in my bed.

Oh – by the way…

 Circa 10 minutes after his last feed, the baby picked up a pacifier. Hasn’t left his mouth since.

Bugger!