One thing, that REALLY fills me with energy and joy and happiness – is throwing stuff out.
I love to look around and see NO mess whatsoever, no clutter anywhere, not a grain of dust, everything spick and span. Being rather lazy and messy, this means that I am often slightly annoyed with myself. I don’t put things away the first time they are in my hand, I just set them down. It drives my husband – the neatfreak – CRAZY, so eventually, I’ll “tidy” a bit and put my stuff in a pile. It then sits there and yells at me like a festering eye-poop until I finally get around to doing something about it. Six months later.
For a couple of months now, I’ve been shooting glances at the top of the cupboard (box with Christmas-stuff), the far end of the drawer furthest down (oceans of space occupied by a huge pot specially designed to cook a whole, large fish in – when have I ever cooked a whole, large fish??!!) and the back end of the cabinet (just lots of crap!).
Due to the petri dish I call my family, this winter has been one long hellish inferno of pink eye, tonsillitis, pneumonia, common cold and – as described else where – all ’round icky poo. So on weekends (and in general) I haven’t had ANY energy for anything other than lying in bed and on the sofa. Being a mess myself.
But with spring comes also a hint of energy. So today, I finally got around to look at that drawer, where I knew I could score some quick wins. After going through it, I must conclude, that when my mother cleans up her shit, it ends up in my drawers: Tablecloths, that looks like some one ate a bunch of flowers and then threw up. Place mats in GOLD -that would be the envy of any ghetto pimp’s wife!
And with the recent turmoil in the Middle East, I have been relieved to notice, that apparently I’m not the only one with a mother, who throws a feng shuiish fit and drops off yards and yards of really ugly fabric – which leads me to conclude that at least ONE difference between me and say, Quaddaffi, is, that at least I don’t WEAR the table cloth my mother found “really inexpensive” on that vacation to Thailand. Hello Axis of Ugly!
Amongst other treasures in the piles of clutter was a cone we got to prevent the cat from licking himself after surgery. I asked my husband WHY the hell we had kept it? He said I had insisted. I asked him why the hell he didn’t stop me? He concluded: “I choose my battles!” I remember we had that very same conversation – word by word – a couple of years ago when we were cleaning out the attic. There, I found, amongst other things:
– a luggage carrier for a bicycle (I “INSISTED!!”, hubby says. I vaguely remember insisting, but am dumbfound as to why!)
– really ugly amateurish paintings I never completed but kept so that if inspiration hit, I could just use the canvas and paint over them. Inspiration never hit!
– a dias-apparatus-thingy. Saved to “blow up” stuff on the canvas I was saving in case inspiration hit. As mentioned: Inspiration never hit!
– a huuuge clonker of 30 pound picknick basket, so gigantic and heavy it would take two grown men to carry it – even without any food in it. I never used it once. Not once. Did I think I would go picknicking often with two very strong men? ( A girl can dream, can’t she??!)
– floppy disks and tapes. Lots and lots. I don’t even have a tape player. And I haven’t yet found the place on the Mac in which to insert the floppys, ahem…
– Jimmy Hoffa. Don’t tell anyone.
So this is my February resolution: I will only keep table cloths nice enough to wear. So that if I should ever outlive my secret dream of being a dictator, at least I will be a stylish one…
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