Some time ago, I saw horrific a little note in the paper. It mentioned that a family of four from my hometown had had a violent traffic accident, which killed the mother and 5 year-old while the father and one year old survived. I desperately went over my list of friends and was relieved to conclude that it wasn’t any of them. Then my mother called and it turned to be someone I did know – peripherally, but still.
It happens almost daily. I am reminded of the frailty of life. And it is like starring at the sun – it is just too painful and huge, so we have to look away.
Even without these bloody reminders, I am painfully aware that everything worth having can be taken away in an instance and that gratefulness stems from not taking life for granted.
I am so grateful.
I am in awe of the love that is bestowed upon me. I am in awe of how much love I can feel – sometimes I almost cannot contain it. Like last night when my fuzzy, soft, round, beautiful two-year old had made his way into my bed and woke me up by laughing in his sleep. That – right there – was true meaning in a world where no meaning has been given in advance. (A less beautiful but nonetheless equally happy moment was last week when my 6-year old farted in the bathtub, making himself and the two-year old laugh SO hard for so long that they both ended up with the hiccups. Mother of God!! That was all about meaning too!)
And this gratefulness is something I seek out. I dwell in it. I think about my relationships. The people who GET me, who laugh at my jokes and root for me and have my back. The ones who cheer for me and are so happy when I succeed and get pissed off at anyone or anything that dares to cross me. Even as I am writing this I feel the gratitude well up in my chest – oh, thank you!
And I think about the advantages I have been given in life. My gratitude starts with being born in this time in this country to that family in this body with these talents. I have been and am daily being showered with gifts. My life is a bombardment of treasures. The people I’ve met, the teachers I’ve had, the journeys I’ve taken.
Assuming that we are entitled to anything robs us from our awe.
Count your blessings my friend.
Love – and thanks,
Cinda
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Awesome blog, dear one! And a great reminder of all we have to be grateful for. (esp the laughter) I love you Soap and am cheering you onward and upward!
“Assuming that we are entitled to anything robs us from our awe.” In the sharing of your gratitude, we are all reminded of ours. Beautifully written. Thank you for being part of my gratitude. =)
Smukt…
Thank you darlings for commenting. It is the most wonderful feeling to send something heartfelt (or goofy or stupid or funny) out there into the void and actually get some feedback. I much appreciate it!
Love,
Cinda